Birth Health Life


Friday, 6 February 2015

It's ok, sometimes you just need to take time to be.

It's been a full on week!  Starting on Monday, with a drop in clinic, that I just couldn't attend.  I very rarely miss one, and I do often think about the mums who I support there, and wonder how they are doing.  So when my clinic days come round I am anticipating seeing various repeat clients and finding out about their progress and challenges, and having baby cuddles sometimes too.

This week was different.  Monday was the 27th anniversary of my dad's very sudden and shocking death.  I still miss him, and some years on the anniversary I will have a day of illness, or sadness, or just a day that needs to be for me, where I would be no good giving to others.  Hence I bowed out of Monday's clinic and went out to town for a day by myself, and had a rose tattoo I've been planning with EJ from Angelic Hell for a while.  The rose reminds me of my job as a little one in my dad's rose garden, dead-heading the roses.  It feels like a present from him...even though he will, where ever he now is, be utterly horrified by a few aspects of my life, but none more than me sporting tattoos.

The feeling of being exhausted on a deep level continued until Friday morning.  I went with it, I laid around and did not a lot.  Ernie and I walked for miles.  I gave thanks for my self-employment which supports my dips and surges in energy.  So Friday, after a good, deep dreaming sleep, I finally felt rested, refreshed, and ready to be up and at em.

Being not doing.  As in doulaing, so in life.

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