This is Venus, low on the horizon, lighting my way through the dark woods. Feeling my way along the path today, one foot in front of the other, moving forward with my dear canine friend Ernie and a distant planet as my companions.
The moon turned today, she became new just after noon, although she will remain unseen for a day or two, I don't know when that silver sliver will appear, but I will be watching for her. Now that my own hormones are quiet, in my crone years, she is my guide, she illuminates my internal rhythm.
Today was empty of energy for creation or healing. There was nothing to be done save to sit and sob occasionally, crochet, drink tea, watch DVDs and gently guide my thoughts away from my lifelong pattern of negative self-talk and judgement. I sat in the emptiness for a few hours, then we rose as the sun set and we walked into the woods. Crazy woman and little dog into the dark wood. Sometimes no light to see by, but still, moving forwards slowly. Down into the cold dell, and up I look and see this distant planet with nothing and nobody between it and me.
My daughter came home to stay for the night. When I had left home this afternoon it had felt like prison walls, but now with my son and Dave home from work, bringing my youngest girl, it was like heaven. We shared the vegetable stew I made today, and she bought wine and cake. I lit the candles at the table and after hot baths we snuggled up in bed with tv, crochet and hot water bottles, like when she was a baby girl in the big bed.
I will wake to the wages having gone into the bank, to a new moon, and a new month. Much gratitude.